Friday, June 15, 2007

Sneaky sneaky

This blog posting stemmed from a friend mentioning what his friend had said. I have thought about it for a whole day, and these are my rants based on his Eva theory.

When the Spurs were getting all of the calls during the Suns-Spurs series, it was obvious to everyone. There were bloggers all over that looked at each play and tallied fouls, non-calls, etc. and it was totally obvious that the Spurs were getting almost all of the calls. When everyone complained, the only defense for the league (not FROM the league, the league never addressed it) was that the league would never rig it so that the Spurs would be in the finals again. After all, no one wanted to see more boring basketball. Even more common was the "no one wants to see the Spurs-Pistons series repeat. Blah." So even though the games were clearly one sided, we all KNEW the league would not put the Spurs in the finals or it would be a ratings stinker, and the NBA wouldn't want that. So, that justification was enough for us to drop the idea that the league was fixing it for the Spurs.
What I am proposing is that the league actually wanted the Spurs in the finals all along, regardless of the ratings. Sure, it seems like a ratings stinker but hey, what are they really up against in summertime TV lineups? Have you watched TV lately? Nothing is on! And, the NBA and ABC do not lose any advertising money if no one watches. In the BS report yesterday David Stern said that the NBA is okay even with poor ratings, but the advertisers just get less of their inventory out. The ad dollars have already changed hands. So why in the world would the NBA want the Spurs in the finals? If you actually watched even one quarter of the finals, you would know that Tony Parker and Eva Longoria are getting married in July. They brought it up every 5 minutes. They showed her face after every big play. After every fall to the floor by the driving frenchman (he falls a lot) we saw her wince. ABC and the NBA want Tony Parker and Eva Longoria to be the Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe of our time.
ABC wants Eva Longoria to be the biggest star on TV. Why else would they put her on a smutty show with a bunch of 40 year old has beens that only enhance the beauty of the 20-something latina? The NBA finals were the sacrificial lamb to benefit Eva and her now declining show. Give up a little ratings in the summer with a boring finals, gain a lot on Sunday nights for the rest of the year with trampy housewives. Brilliant. The finals were the pawn to the Desperate Housewives checkmate.
I was listening to Dan Patrick's podcast yesterday and he and Michael Wilbon actually played the "who would you rather be on an island with" game with the desperate housewives ladies. You really think that Disney-owned ESPN would allow Dan Patrick to play that game with an NBA star's fiancee as one of the choices of island mates if it wasn't exactly what ABC wanted all along? Seriously? Imagine Scott Van Pelt playing that game with John Anderson at the Masters over which PGA tour player's wife would be the best island mate. Would that EVER happen?
Two days ago there was an article on the ESPN.com front page that talked about how great Tony Parker's life was because of Eva Longoria. If you watched the series, you know what I am talking about. It was all they talked about.
The East was cupcakes, and the Cavs were at least 50% into the finals when the first round tipped off. Some viewers would tune in just to watch LeBron, so why not have the ability to plug Desperate Housewives every five minutes? How many people said "well, I'll watch now, since at least it won't be another boring series like the Spurs-Pistons from a few years ago. LeBron is there, it will be fun to watch." I said that! All of my buddies said that!
The NBA along with their buddies ABC-Disney-ESPN wanted the Spurs to be in the finals so that it could be a 15 hour Desperate Housewives commercial. ABC wants Eva Longoria to be the biggest TV star of all time. Now it all makes sense. The non-calls on Nash. The suspensions. The 132,948 shots of Eva Longoria. Eva Longoria will make ABC much more money than any NBA finals in the summer ever could. 22 episodes will always trump 7 games.

Monday, June 11, 2007

I Can't believe it just ended!

The Sopranos is over!! I can't believe it!! Oh wait, I have never had HBO and have never watched a minute of the Sopranos. It is interesting to hear all of this talk as an outsider to the show. I think "man, these people wasted a lot of time and I don't feel like I missed anything." It made me realize how little the shows I like really matter. Funny thing is, I will still watch Lost every time it is on because I have to know what happens next. Nothing is worse than being tricked when you know you're being tricked.